So as we cruise into the midpoint of my little 30-day chronicle, it occurs to me that I’ve not talked about guns and dating. There’s actually a reason for that. I don’t get out much. Being a divorced dad, I’ve learned, the hard way, that this dating thing is time-consuming, expensive, and unpredictable at best. Simply put, dating is a bitch. One of the many reasons I never wanted to be single again was the prospect of having to screw my courage to the sticking place and go back to dating again. I’ve got nothing against dating, per se, but the challenge of finding a girl to date is a little more daunting and time-consuming than I enjoy. Between courting, planning, dating, worrying about money, et cetera, it’s not like I need one more thing to act as a barrier within the concept of my social life.
Meh.
So I’m about to go out with a female friend of mine, and my thoughts turn to “what to do about the gun.” (Truth to tell, my thoughts were turning more to my date, but that’s a different story.) Women and guns are an interesting subject, date-wise. On the one hand, you want to be able to protect your date, should something bad happen. On the other hand, the last thing you want is to have to explain why your armed, should she suddenly discover that you’re packin.’ Decisions, decisions…
I’ve found that guns and girls is a very binary thing, i.e.: they are either “fur ’em,” or “aginn ’em.” Very few women are neutral on the subject of guns. Either they seem to be pro-gun (and usually own/carry one themselves) or they look at guns in their vicinity with the same kind of enthusiasm many women have for baiting a hook with a live worm.
My date for the evening fell into the “I’m not crazy about guns” group. So I had to weigh the pros and cons of carrying on our date. On the plus side, I’d feel safer. On the negative side, she might object, especially if I didn’t fill her in on my decision beforehand. I weighed where we were going, who would be driving, which car we’d go in, what neighborhoods were in between where we were and where we were going, and every other factor I could think of.
So…what did I decide? It was a split decision. Part of the date, I went without. Part, I had a gun ready at hand. Now some of you may argue that I should have used this as a ‘teachable moment’ to educate my date on the virtues of guns and conceal carry. Then there are those of you who are single and get that this would be a quick way to lose a chance at a pleasant evening out with a friend.
How did things turn out? The subject never came up, which was pretty much what I’d both expected and hoped for. Just like I never go looking for trouble when I’m armed, I never look to add controversy when I’m out on a date. Think of it as my finely-tuned self-preservation gene doing it’s thing. I like to think I made the right choice. (After all, no gun-appropriate emergency came up.) But it’s caused me to think more about what I can do to make this less of an issue. Perhaps ask her out on a gun range date, and teach her how to shoot something lightweight like a .22? Bring up the subject at an appropriate time and discuss it? Perhaps buy her a self-defense course for Christmas that includes some gun instruction? I don’t know. For now, it’s enough for me to feel as if I can defend my date when I need to, but the subject bears more thought, especially when it comes to situations where the date in question is not crazy about firearms.
My wife is one of the few women neither “fur’ em” or “agin’ em” when it comes to guns. Her reticence toward them, when it occurs, is usually based on finances or aesthetics. Which is to say she would prefer me to own cheap, lovely guns.
She fails to see the functional beauty of a cheap AK, but her first comment when I told her I owned some guns (back when we were first dating) was “that’s cool, I got to shoot an Uzi last summer!”
If you don’t think women are worthwhile then you need to reevaluate your priorities. =P I’m teasing – I guess life does get busy.
Both my mom and my girlfriend fall into the “I don’t want to shoot one, but I like feeling safe” group (at least right now). So I disagree with your comments a bit. I think the best way to bring up firearms is to start a discussion about it. I believe in owning firearms because I’ve recognized defendable reasons to do so. Telling people “the truth” doesn’t seem to work. Asking them “what do you think” gets the ball rolling.
Good luck.
“Perhaps buy her a self-defense course for Christmas that includes some gun instruction?”
Bad idea. Get her something that SHE wants, not something that YOU want for her.
Dump her.
Did I miss something? Why the picture of Governor Perry and a female blogger at Reds Indoor Range? It kinda sorta not really relates to your post….
Let’s put it this way…deadline looming…no great ideas for photo illustration…sinus headache making vision blurry…desire to go lay down and make pain go away…desperation sets in…first pic I come to with a male and female at a range…done.
That answer your question?
Oh…and it may have been the wrong pic, but it got you interested enough to post a comment, now…didn’t it? 😉
My wife grew up in Ireland and associates anything gun related with terrorism. A lot to overcome but she’s slowly coming around. Using the sporting aspect to help her. We focus so much on guns being defensive weapons and killing machines which really does turn off the “against em” crowd but even they have a tough time arguing against Olympic Modern Pentathlons and Winter Biathlons. Those athletes didn’t get to be good shooters by reading about it.
I had a “teachable” moment turned around on me. Took a lady friend and her 12 yr old daughter out to dinner and didn’t carry. The subject of guns came up somehow and the girl ask why I carry a gun. “Ah ha!” said I, a teachable moment! So I told her about being able to protect the ones I love and the one am with. She just looked at me and asked, “Aren’t mommy and I worth protecting?” DUH!!!! What could I say? “Of course you are! I am sorry and it won’t happen again”.
I’ve been in the same boat…wondering what my date will think of the Springfield XD45 on my waist. I’m a “big” girl….6′ tall and can actually carry a gun that big and no one the wiser. But that’s okay…the first hint of a frown about my gun and I’m outta there.
M. Janice, the only thing I would think about your XD45 is that you really ought to carry a 1911. But that’s a debate we can have over the next 40 or 50 years… ;>)
Ms. Janice, the only thing I would think about your XD45 is that you really ought to carry a 1911. But that’s a debate we can have over the next 40 or 50 years… ;>)
Sounds like a good idea for a story…I’m sure if you’d write it up and send it to RF, he’d publish it!
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