“You have to have confidence in the Supreme Court,” Chicago Mayor Richard Daley told reporters at a City Hall news conference. Confidence that they’ll reverse the Heller decision striking down Washington D.C.’s handgun ban, and let Chicago continue its ban? Why in the world would they do that? “Maybe they’ll see the light of day. Maybe one of them will have an incident and they’ll change their mind over night, going to and from work.” An incident? Like . . . what? Maybe someone who knows someone who knows someone will mug Judge Roberts with a gun and he’ll think, I don’t want a piece. I want to subvert the Constitution of the United States to make sure no one can ever threaten me with a gun again. Or is Mayor Daley hinting at some kind of drive-by shooting, in the grand Chicago tradition? And just in case Robert’s mob aren’t willing to turn their back on the bedrock of American democracy, Daley wants his people to know that he is. “Whatever the details of the court’s ruling will be, we will always find new ways to keep guns off our streets,” he said. It gets better/worse . . .
During the news conference, Daley reacted with the help of a prop when a reporter suggested the city’s handgun ban has been ineffective, given the number of shootings that still occur in Chicago.
“It’s been very effective,” Daley said, picking up a gun from the dozens displayed on a nearby table. “If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is. Let me put a round up your, you know.”
But that’s why you want to get them out,” he continued. “You want to get these out. This gun saved many lives. It could save your life.”
I’m confused. The Chicago handgun ban has stopped people from sodomizing reporters with firearms? Anwway, what are we talking about here? What’s Hizzoner gonna do when the Supremes yank his chain?
Daley offered no specifics on what he will propose. But he talked about the possibility of ballistics tests for registered guns, so police can track them if they’re used in crimes.
He also said that if guns are allowed in Chicago, something has to be done to allow police, firefighters and other first responders know how many weapons are in a home as they respond to a call.
Chicago gun owners are hardly likely to panic at the news. And if they did, they’re wouldn’t be enough of them to make much trouble anyhow.
Why do I have images of…. "This is a very nice court you have here, Mr. Justice. It would indeed be a shame if anything untowards were to happen to it…. say, an inexplicable overnight fire…. or a wildcat strike by the International Brotherhood of Law Clerks. I think we MIGHT come to some mutually beneficial arrangement that could avoid any unpleasantries…."